


take me back to the light

by Nymika



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:08:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29806836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nymika/pseuds/Nymika
Summary: “What are we doing?” Eddie asked, peering up at the sky spotted with wispy clouds. The sun would be coming up soon.“Appreciating the world for a minute,” Buck replied. “Let’s go to the roof.” He was walking away before he’d even finished speaking, and Eddie trailed after him.Or: Buck and Eddie watch the sunrise
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 42
Kudos: 293





	take me back to the light

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first fic i've ever actually finished and the first thing i've written since like 2017 enjoy :)
> 
> title is from golden by harry styles
> 
> come find me on [tumblr](https://nymika-arts.tumblr.com/) !

It was 5 a.m., and Eddie was thinking about Buck. 

It didn’t surprise him, really; Buck had a way of slipping into his thoughts on quiet days, when Eddie lay awake and let his mind wander. And it was quiet here in the bunk room as the others slept, the stillness of the early morning not yet broken.

Buck wasn’t there, but he’d always been a bit restless on the slow shifts. If Eddie listened, he could hear the soft shuffling footsteps as Buck busied himself in the kitchen upstairs, making coffee or looking for something to eat before he’d settle on the couch with a book or some obscure wikipedia page to read.

It was amazing to him how easily Buck had fit himself into Eddie’s life. Eddie had always had people, but never the way he had Buck. Never the same constant, solid presence, the same unwavering support, the same utterly selfless love and loyalty. He’d fumbled with it at first; always caught off guard by the lengths Buck would go to for Eddie and his son, but he’d figured it out quickly enough.

Buck’s love for people was boundless. Every person he spoke to got a sliver of it to take away with them, every stranger he met owned a small piece of it. It was infinite, like he owed it to the world itself to love so openly. But when you truly meant something to him, when Buck decided you were a part of the makeshift family he’d collected, that was something else entirely.

Buck’s love was freely given, but his trust was earned; somehow Eddie had earned it. 

And honestly, Eddie felt like everything in his life had just been leading him here, to this family. He never imagined this was where he’d end up, but to him, these people felt like home. Buck felt like home.

The most incredible part was that he knew he was just as important to Buck as Buck was to him. He knew that Buck had chosen him in all the same ways, that he’d carved out a space in his own life for Eddie and Chris to fit neatly into. Buck made him feel like someone that was worth loving, and that was everything.

It was hard to breathe sometimes, with the weight of that knowledge sitting on his chest. That he could feel so whole, so complete with Buck by his side. That he wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world. Buck was his best friend. 

Eddie was in love with him.

He knew it, he’d just never been able to act on it. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to (because, _god,_ he wanted to), he just couldn’t seem to get the words out when the opportunity presented itself. He was never any good with words, anyway. 

So he lay awake and let his mind wander, and hoped that someday he’d be able to take that leap of faith, and Buck would be there to catch him.

Eddie wasn’t sure how long he’d been lying there when his phone lit up next to him. He glanced over to see a text message from Buck on the screen.

 ** _6:02 a.m.  
_** ** _Buck:_ ** _are you awake?_

So he’d been lying there a while. It wasn’t looking like he was going to get much more sleep.

 ** _6:03 a.m.  
_** ** _Eddie:_ ** _yeah_

 ** _6:03 a.m.  
_** ** _Buck:_ ** _come outside_

Eddie sighed and let himself lie in the bed for a moment longer, contemplating how much easier life would be if he wasn’t hopelessly in love with his best friend, before sitting up and slipping his boots on. He didn’t bother with the laces. 

His footsteps seemed to echo through the silent station as he crept out of the bunk room, trying not to wake the others. Pale morning light had just begun to filter in through the large bay doors at the front, casting long shadows behind the trucks and painting everything a soft shade of blue. He saw Buck standing in the parking lot looking up at the sky, and he made his way towards him.

Buck handed him a steaming mug of coffee as Eddie joined him in the cool air outside the station. He took the drink and let it warm his hands.

“You made this for me?” he asked. Stupid question, but he couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“I knew you wouldn’t be sleeping.”

It was such a simple thing, but it made Eddie fall in love all over again. Buck knew him so completely, even down to the smallest details that most people would never think about, and Eddie still couldn’t quite wrap his head around it. Buck noticed far more than anyone gave him credit for.

“What are we doing?” Eddie asked, peering up at the sky spotted with wispy clouds. The sun would be coming up soon.

“Appreciating the world for a minute,” Buck replied. “Let’s go to the roof.” He was walking away before he’d even finished speaking, and Eddie trailed after him. 

“Okay, now what?” Eddie asked as Buck settled himself down atop the station.

“Just sit,” Buck said, glancing up at him with a soft smile. Eddie did. “Sunrise is in a few minutes, I thought we could watch it together. The view is great from up here.”

Eddie had to agree. The firehouse wasn’t a tall building, but it was enough to allow them to see over the roofs of the neighbouring structures and the few trees that dotted the street. The sky was steadily growing brighter as the city brought itself to life, the sounds of car horns drifting up towards them. It should have been jarring against the previous stillness of the morning, but he didn’t think anything could disturb the peace he felt sitting next to Buck just then.

“I thought it was supposed to rain today,” Eddie said, hoping to quiet the voices in his head that whispered _this right here, this is what you’ve been searching for_. 

“Not until later. Afternoon, I think.” Buck didn’t offer anything more, but the silence was a comfortable thing that Eddie could lean into. Most people seemed to miss these thoughtful moments Buck had, Eddie thought. He was so often the biggest presence in a room; always talking, or joking around, never seeming to sit still. That was the Buck that people knew, endless energy and optimism. Eddie loved that Buck, but he loved this one too. This softer, smaller Buck that took up just as much room in his heart.

And he was lucky, he thought, that he got to know this Buck too.

Dawn broke slowly, golden light spilling over the horizon and turning the sky brilliant shades of pink and orange, but Eddie found himself looking at Buck. 

“Y’know, I think it works better if you actually look at the sunrise,” Buck said without turning, his lips twitching up into a small smile. 

Eddie huffed out a laugh and glanced away. He couldn’t even find it in himself to be embarrassed, not in a moment this perfect, this precious. Deep down he thought that maybe Buck had figured him out, anyway. Sometimes he even entertained the thought that Buck might feel the same way.

Out of the corner of his eye, Eddie saw Buck lift his phone up towards the sky and snap a few pictures. He frowned at them, then adjusted the camera and took a few more. Eddie just watched the few clouds crawl slowly across the sky, coloured pink by the light from below.

Buck put his phone down and stared back out at the rising sun. “I think it’s kinda funny,” he said, “how we try to take snapshots of these beautiful fleeting moments, but we can never quite capture them. It’s like we’re meant to just live them.”

Eddie watched him, his eyes tracing the way the sunlight washed over his features, carved out his contours and filtered softly through his lashes and the messy curls that always seemed to make an appearance after Buck had slept for a while.

Eddie thought if he tried to take a picture of Buck right now, it would be much the same. A beautiful moment, meant to be lived, that a photo could never bring justice to.

“I think that’s just your shitty phone camera,” Eddie said, and Buck laughed. 

“Yeah, maybe,” he replied, the smile never leaving his face. 

And, oh, that smile. That perfect, genuine smile that could light up the whole world in a second, sunlight be damned. Buck gave it so freely, so easily, like it was something so insignificant and not the axis that Eddie’s world spun on. 

_For that smile, I would do anything_ , Eddie realized with certainty. The truth behind it scared him a little. Because what else was there, really? What was Eddie waiting for, if not this? Buck was everything to him, everything to his son. It didn’t even feel real sometimes, like he could press a little too hard at any of the edges and the dream would shatter. But it never did. 

It didn’t seem to matter how much time they spent together, it never felt like enough. Eddie wanted to live the rest of his life by Buck’s side. 

Maybe today was the day.

“Hey, um—” but he stopped. What could he even say? There weren’t words to describe the depth of his feelings for Buck.

Buck turned to look at him. “Yeah?” he prompted, his brows knitting together. Eddie could only imagine how his own face must look, with all of these emotions rubbing him raw from the inside.

The words just caught in his throat again and then disappeared; he had to glance away, blinking into the sunlight. When he looked back, Buck’s expression was softer, head tilted to the side and the beginnings of another smile playing on his lips. It was such a simple thing. A simple thing, but the final, gentle push that sent Eddie over the edge. 

He leaned in and kissed him. 

Beneath the clear, open sky, cast in the glow from the sunrise, Eddie kissed him. Buck melted into it almost instantly, his hands grasping Eddie’s shirt and lacing through his hair. Eddie poured himself into it, hoping that Buck could feel his every intention. That everything he’d ever felt, and everything he’d never said, would make itself known through this one action.

Eddie was never any good with words, but maybe this kiss could speak for him. 

When they finally broke apart, there was no one else in the world but them. Eddie looked at Buck, and it was like seeing him again for the first time.

“What was that for?” Buck asked, his forehead pressed firmly against Eddie’s, like they couldn’t quite bring themselves to pull back any further.

“Everything,” Eddie breathed, and it was true. 


End file.
